City Rocks | Fun & Entertainment

Why Is My Computer So Slow?

2009-06-04T02:35:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that Windows computers can sometimes slow down over time. While not an exhaustive list of solutions to problems, this collection presents some ways to speed up a computer.

1. De-Fragmenting
Over time, the data on your hard drive gets scattered. Defragmenting your hard drive puts your data back into sequential order, making it easier for Windows to access it. As a result, the performance of your computer will improve.
a) Right click of C Disk.
b) Click properties.
c) Click tools tab.
d) Click "Defragment now".
e) Click Defragment.

2. Uninstall Unneeded Programs
Removing programs that you no longer use can free up space on your computer and speed up your system's performance. However, you need to uninstall the programs properly to see much improvement; deleting them is not enough.

3. Stop Programs from starting on Windows boot
One way you can speed up your computer is to prevent programs from launching themselves at start-up. Not only do the unwanted programs delay the start of Windows, they also continue to slow down your computer since they use system resources.
a) Open your Start menu.
b) Click Run
c) In the command screen type "msconfig.exe"
d) In the "system configuration utility", click either "service" or "startup" tab
e) Uncheck all programs that you are no longer using.
f) Click "OK"

4. Check for Spyware and Adware
Spyware is software that allows companies to monitor what websites you visit or even access your computer. Adware is software that displays advertisements. Both use system resources and slow your computer down. Detecting and removing the programs will improve system performance.
Get the best one from: <--http://toptenantispyware.com to scan your pc

5. Clean your Registry
Microsoft Registry Problems = Slow Computer!
Use the tool: http://tpdownload.com/themosteffectivere...
Learn more information "why is my computer running so slow": http://tpdownload.com/WhyIsMyComputerSlo...

Body Builder Dog....................................!!!

2009-06-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

Pakistani Girls playing Holi Part-2

2009-06-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Pakistani Girls playing Holi Part-1

2009-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

This year no bonus!!!!::

2009-05-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

IF YOUR BOSS COMES AND TELL YOU THIS YEAR NO BONUS, NO INCREMENT, LEAVE CUT, PAY CUT?

WHAT SHALL YOU DO ??

AND IF STILL NOTHING HAPPENS WHAT TO DO????

{scroll to the bottom}

Just Enjoy and always Keep SMILING….

It Happens Only In.........

2009-05-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

Only in China

Only in Hawaii

Only in Texas

Only in Australia

Only in Thailand

Only in Indonesia

Only in Japan

Only in Bangladesh

Only in Pakistan

Only in India

When wife leaves the child to husband....

2009-05-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Who Is She?

2009-05-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

She's...
..

Bill Gates' daughter.

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2009-05-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

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How To Stop Smoking

2009-05-27T14:18:00.001-07:00

Taliban beating girl funny

2009-05-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

Astonishing Facts

2009-05-27T14:09:00.001-07:00

Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstantiationalistically has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
Rhythm
Sky
Fry
Cry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':
LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:
FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:
YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human:

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times

Riddles

2009-05-27T14:08:00.001-07:00

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?
A: A stamp.

Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?
A: A piano.

Q: Who earns money driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Dinner Party....

2009-05-27T14:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday evening, Helen and her husband invited their neighbours (two couples) for a dinner at home. The six of them sat at a round table. Helen tells you the following: "Victor sat on the left of the woman who sat on the left of the man who sat on the left of Anna. Esther sat on the left of the man who sat on the left of the woman who sat on the left of the man who sat on the left of the woman who sat on the left of my husband. Jim sat on the left of the woman who sat on the left of Roger. I did not sit beside my husband." Then who is the Helen's husband?

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Scroll down for the solution

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Solution:
From the second statement, we know that the six people sat at the table in the following way (clockwise and starting with Helen's husband):
Helen's husband, woman, man, woman, man, Esther
Because Helen did not sit beside her husband, the situation must be as follows:
Helen's husband, woman, man, Helen, man, Esther
The remaining woman must be Anna, and combining this with the first statement, we arrive at the following situation:
Helen's husband, Anna, man, Helen, Victor, Esther
Because of the third statement, Jim and Roger can be placed in only one way, and we now know the complete order:
Helen's husband Roger, Anna, Jim, Helen, Victor, Esther
Conclusion: the name of Helen's husband is Roger.

A real brain teaser- need answer! (Hindi language)

2009-05-27T14:06:00.002-07:00

din se zyada roshan hai, raat se zyada siah, agar kao to haram he,
piyo to halal he, ek aurat apni zindagi me sirf ek baar is ko use karti he
or mard din me teen baar use karta he, meem se shuru hota he, paanch harfo
ka ilfaaz he, quran sharif me is ka 5 baar zikr he- what is it? someone
told me this and i cant figure out the answer- what could it be???????

Lateral thinking puzzles

2009-05-27T14:06:00.001-07:00

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.
Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.
Think like a wizard...

Q1.

man
------
board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

Q2.

stand
-----
i

Ans. = I understand

OK...
Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see
how you fare ?

Q3.

/r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

Q4.

r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?
Redeem yourself.

Q5.

cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

Not easy to figure out ha!

Q6.

0
---------
M.D.
Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought! !

Q7.

knee
------------
light

Ans. = neon light
( knee - on - light )

U can prove u r smart by getting this one.

Q8.

ground
---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Oh no, not again ! !

Q9.

ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close! !

Q10.

death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance...

Q11.

ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...

Ans. = long time no 'C'
( see )

Nature is amazing

2009-05-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

1] Some Facts:

1) BOOK WITHOUT LETTER 'e':
GADFY , written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a single word with ' e ' in it

2) WORD WITHOUT VOWEL:
RHYTHM

3) BRAIN: Organ of body which has no sensation when cut .

4) CROCODILE:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating .

5) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:

They are
B Bee
C Sea
G Zee
I Eye
Q Queue
R Are
S Yes
T Tea
U You
Y Why

[2] Birds, Animals and Trees amaze you!

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.

2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.

3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.

4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tonnes of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.

5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.

6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TRYNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.

7) DIMETRODON was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.

8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.

9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.

10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.

11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.

12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.

13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.

14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

[3] Quiz

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say 'DADDY'? - LIPS

2) What goes up & never comes down? - AGE

3) Patches over patches but no stitches? - CABBAGE

4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you? - FUTURE

5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves? - ROAD

6) You can never wet it? - SHADOW

7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do? - YOUR NAME

[4] In a period of a day or 24 hours an average human:

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (Including other liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times

Beauty of maths

2009-05-27T13:52:00.002-07:00

Let me reword this as beauty of GOD,AS YOU SCROLL DOWN .The maths portion has been taken from a chapter is ancient Vedic Maths/
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it? I ams ure theChinese will ove this to death.
For them 8 is the most fortunate number. Women try to give birth to babies on 8th if it can be helped.
And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111= 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this... 101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R-K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
God gives you 101 %

Signatures and attitudes

2009-05-27T13:52:00.001-07:00

The various types of Signatures you come across and the attitude of such a person are listed below:

1) SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN !!

These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life"

2) TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN !!

These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiancées as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons and they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.

3) SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN !!

These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple and are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.

4) NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN !!

These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good nature but are selfish too.

5) RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME and SIGN !!

These persons try to be very smart, hide each and every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.

6) RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME and SIGN !!

These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas and views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.

7) SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS !!

These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near and dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.

8) WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN !!

These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment and to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views and posses a lot of will power.

NOW QUESTION IS, HOW DO YOU READ YOUR CHARACTER?

This is really very very cute

2009-05-27T13:49:00.001-07:00

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't allow me to go..." : ) ......

Jokes

2009-05-27T13:48:00.001-07:00

LITTLE LALOO

Little Lalloo was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. 'Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?' he asked his mother. 'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?'

PAYING BILLS

Two guys robbed a rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, 'What did you find in your sack?' 'Ten lakh Rupees!' 'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?' 'I bought a house. How about your sack?' 'Bah... it was full of bills.' 'And what did you do with them?' 'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'

RAILWAY STATION
Three professors had walked down to the train station from the University. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't hear the train arrive, but they did notice the noise of the train as it started to depart. After a desperate rush two of them manage to scramble onboard. The third looked sad and a passing railway official said, 'Don't feel bad, atleast two out of three of you made it.' 'True…', sighed the professor, 'But the other two were only here to see me off!'

WHAT A DREAM
Wife: I dreamed you gave me $100 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn’t spoil that dream, would you, Dear? Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $100.

Captain Ronald

Could you please tell me the condition of Captain Ronald in Room No. 605? He was operated upon last week and I’d like to know his condition.' The nurse excused herself and then returned to the phone. 'I have just checked Captain Ronald’s chart. His condition is excellent and he seems to be making steady improvement. Who shall I say called?' 'This is Captain Ronald in room. No.605. my doctors don’t tell me a thing!

MARRYING DAUGHTER

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

MUNDAN

This leave letter is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days."

LEAVE APPLICATION

Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: 'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.'

DOUGHNUT

Customer: Waitress, why is my doughnut all smashed? Waitress: You said you wanted a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and step on it.

PIANO

Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha, woh kya soch raha hoga....think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

COINCIDENCE

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" STUDENT: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

GIRLISH FIGURE

'So you met Suneeta today?' 'Yes, I hadn't seen her for eight years. 'Has she kept her girlish figure?' 'Kept it? She doubled it.'

STRANGE SOCKS

TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

GEORGE WASHINGTON

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

GO SLOW

TEACHER: Why are you late? BALGOBIN: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

DRUNK ?

Nelson got arrested and was brought before the Judge. 'Who brought you in?' asked the Judge. 'Two policemen, Sir.' 'Drunk, I assume?' 'Both of them, Your Honour, both of them.'

HIT BACK

The scene in the film was tense and the audience sat enthralled. Suddenly, the hero slapped the heroine on the face. In the silence that followed, a young voice piped up: 'Why doesn’t she hit back like you do, mummy?'

Taxi driver

2009-05-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

Shyamali Malakar - American Idol Sanjayas sister

2009-05-27T13:44:00.001-07:00

Funny Pics

2009-05-27T13:36:00.000-07:00

How Girlz rate Guyz?

2009-05-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

How Girlz rate Guyz?

Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.

It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.

Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

********

% just a friend %

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Aaditya, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"

Aaditya: "Where are you going Shilpa??"

Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).

********

% Good Friend %

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Aaditya calls: "Hi Shilpa",

Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: "What do you want Aaditya? Why did you call that day?".

Aaditya: "Generally".

Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

********

% Very good friend %

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: "You know Aaditya, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".

Aaditya: "Who is Shekhar??"

Shilpa : "My boyfriend."

Aaditya: Oh! Ok.

********

% Best Friend %

You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.

And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.

Aaditya Shopping. Aaditya Movie. Aaditya Coffee. Aaditya,you pay. I am having fun.

Aaditya is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends

Aaditya. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."

Aaditya: What?? (Aaditya drinks all night).

********

% Best of the Best Friends %

Ok now you are really special.

You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.

Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.

You take her around.

You make her project.

You do her assignments.

You are allowed to take her doggie around.

You can hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).

But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.

Shilpa: "Hi Aaditya. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Aaditya, he is my bestest friend".

Aaditya: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Aaditya's wrist).

Aaditya is now heart broken and wrist broken.

********

% Boyfriend %

Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!

********

Now ~ where you stand?

so be careful
*********

I Lost my wife : (Ladies should read )

2009-05-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

I Lost my wife : (Ladies should read not to be missed)

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man: I lost my wife (misty)

Inspector: what is her height

Man; I never noticed

Inspectior:slim or healthy

Man: not slim can be healthy

Inspector: colour of eyes

Man: Never noticed

Inspector: colour of hair

Man: changes according to season

Inspector: what was she wearing

Man: Saree/suit/ I dont remember exactly

Inspector:was somebody with her ?????????
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Man: Yes
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my Labra dog (romeo)
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tied with a golden chain

height 30 inches

healthy,

blue eyes,

blackish brown hair

his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken

he never barks

wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls

he likes non veg food

we sleep together

we eat together

we jog together

we___________________&

the man started crying
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Inspector: Lets search the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

2009-05-27T13:32:00.001-07:00

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-Eyes.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
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A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!